over the course of life under the sun
we have the tendency to downplay eternity.

juggling between work, social life, family, and what not.
i’m seeing a lack of spirituality in the society i’m in right now.

we pay little regard to what’s going on beyond our timeline and field of physics.

is living the good life, being kind to one another, abstaining from criminal acts,
donating to the unfortunate, taking a few empathizing photos with orphans

really enough to fill the spiritual gap in our lives?

it’s undeniable that we all have a spirit, sure science cannot prove it.
but science could not disprove it as well.

else we’d be like any beast in the field. indiscriminate.

so what are we feeding it with?

we work out and eat right, physical.
we solve problems, mental/intellectual.
we listen to music, emotional.
we communicate, social.

but what are we doing with what is arguably the most important constituent of life?

in high school when we still had to learn Pendidikan Jasmani dan Kesihatan
one of the major facets of life that balances life itself includes the rohani(spirit).

the Chinese radio station:

“modern life is a little like this:
we have a house 屋, no family 家.
we have entertainment 娱乐, no joy 快乐.
we have…..”

forgot the rest of it, but basically it says that we have the materials to
create or hold something far more profound than a house, or entertainment in itself.
like joy, and love.

but ironically(hello, fel)
it seems that we’re more caught up with the materials than
what it’s originally created for.

my own interpretation.

if we view life relative to eternity, we learn that life here is
but a dress rehearsal for the next.

invest in the right things.

-zachsiow

uniforms here I come!

school starts tomorrow, it’s a brand new beginning.
at the same time it’s just a continuation from the year before.

i can’t just throw the ‘past baggage’ out my window,
some things stick to you till you resolve them.

like past exam grades (got to work hard on this),
assignments, projects, r & d…

… and so it begins >:)

/game face.
/self-motivation.

anyway, on a happier note.
we celebrated Mun Keong…
or should I say Pastor Soo’s 31st [?] birthday at Bangsar on New Year’s Eve.

it was also his 1 year anniversary since he chose to go full time,
quitting his well-paid job as an engineer to become a pastor.

since then he has been our very own, long-awaited Youth Pastor in CBC!

great character, good heart, kind and generous.
nice house, has a great supportive spouse,
unfaltering faith and knowledge of God.

i believe as he grows with experience, he’ll be able to do a lot more
this year, especially with us youths.

i sincerely hope that G.I.G. will not be a waste of anyone’s time,
but become a fruitful, faithful, strong generation for the gospel.

on a random note,
Mr. Hot Electric Guitarist here passed his driving test today!
winning the bet against Mark Chang(whom have already lost on countless occasions).

congratulations, have a great first year of college.
hope to see that you grow even stronger in character and faith.

300+ days to STPM, here we go!

p/s: thinking of moving my postcards page here to my wordpress, what do you think?

http://zachsiow.tumblr.com/postcard

-zachsiow

Mortar and pestle, grinding peanuts.
Glutinous rice flour.
Brown sugar added, peanut filling.
Forming the Tang Yuen. (glutinous rice balls)

made these with my sister last week the day
before the Chinese calendar’s Winter Solstice.

it was simple, yet fun.
traditions like this should be kept on, thank God Suzanne made the initiative.
it makes festivals… more festive.
and families more bonded.

holidays are coming to an end.
to the start of a hectic year ahead, as i anticipate.
to the biggest exam i will probably ever face.
to new resolutions and new hopes.
new love.

i’m glad i went for the trip to Ayer Tawar with Pastor Soo and some youths…

to experience small town life,
so simple and slow.

before facing a new barrage of challenges.

ang zhiew mee suah (red wine vermicelli)
cendol
kong piah (onion biscuits)
kampua (handmade noodles)

eat good food.
add new flavours to our dictionary.

taste a piece history of the people.

create new memories together.

new things to reminisce about.

to have each other.

and without a shadow of a doubt,
2012 is gonna’ be harder, better, stronger and faster.

-zachsiow

Christmas was all that for the most part of my teenage life.

tonight there was a noticeable air of difference about Christmas,
the collective skepticism that built around forms a callous.

we’re all benumbed and desensitized.
the so called ‘Christmas Spirit’ has withered.

at least that’s what i see.
it’s not just in my church, it’s not just Christmas…

it just became obvious in the light of Christmas celebrations
of what was supposed to be.

have we become a generation of a constant breathing in of depression
that it is normal to be unhappy, disgruntled for all the days of our lives
for all we care.

tonight’s play “Hope Will Come” couldn’t have been more timely.

it’s not the most creative of plays,
not the most impressive of sets,
not the most extravagant of backdrops,
not the most touching either.

but i felt a subtle impact in the message behind it.

we’re a people deprived of God, really.
conspiracy theories after conspiracy theories.
debates after debates.
atheists after atheist.
skeptics after skeptics.

it is so easy to be buried in all this, to not care, to be indifferent about it.
to accept what our friends views about Jesus which are rather murky.
facebook posts, tumblr posts, blog posts of half truths and whole lies
that sound like perfect sense.

that’s it, we try to make sense out of everything.
God cannot make sense. God doesn’t make sense.
therefore we deduce that God is nonsense.

but how can God be God if we can make sense out of God?
if we can predict His every move,
if we can put Him into part of our system where we can achieve our purposes.
if we can comprehend Him.

that just makes Him a really powerful but uncreative being.

was on my way home in Gilbert’s car when a Christmas song played on the radio.
it was filthy. filled with sexual innuendos and blatantly filthy lyrics.
that’s just a picture of how the world is right now.

it doesn’t matter that Christmas literally means celebrate the Messiah.
it’s just another name for another public holiday, where we get to make out
under a mistletoe and check out sexy santarinas in skimpy clothes.

so stop apologizing for the Gospel, the Bible, stop apologizing for your faith.
or they’re gonna ruin every bit of it.

this is not a rage post.
i’m not angry at atheists, i’m not angry at Christians, i’m not angry at skeptics,
nor am i angry at God.

i’m just curious about what has become of us. the church, the world.
dictated by a few tyrants  whom we know nothing about.
in a world where everyone is believable but not trust.
not the CIA, not the law, not the lawmakers.

have we gone past redemption?

have we stopped trusting?

have we stopped feeling?

the important question is,

have we stopped trying?

CBC. more of us are leaving, more to leave.
any given excuse at all is a good excuse to leave.

it’s one thing to believe, another to trust.

as I end this post, it is now 0000hrs on Christmas day.
Merry Christmas Saviour, thank You for the greatest love., as the greatest gift.

-zachsiow

think what you like!

had this similar problem when i was 14, and later 15 as well.

where i made a poll about it.

http://im15.wordpress.com/2008/10/16/mucro/

and Michelle commented:

“Don’t change the way you write.
Because the way a person writes signifies something – their character.
And if you change, be it because you feel like you want to or should.
Don’t change because others tell you to. “

and yeah, why haven’t i learnt my lesson yet?

i enjoy my own writings, and i always share what i like with people around!

so it’s only right that i stay true to myself.
already a keep-my-thoughts-to-myself person in person.
if i contain whatever i think about anymore,
i’m gonna implode!

i’m trying out a macaron recipe soon!
so stay tuned!

-zachsiow

there was too much nonsense, God sent a flood to erase and redo everything.

-Zach Siow

i’m gonna be real cynical towards you now.

and if you wanna read this post, read the whole thing, in context.

dear all,

don’t know how many times i have to do this. [ever since i was 14]
if your name, or to the more sensitive, “hints of me referring to you”
is mentioned on this blog, my twitter, my facebook or whatever.
and on a not-so-nice note.

i probably don’t hate you.
i probably care for you and appreciate you.

ang-gu-gu.

i know my opinions may sometimes be un-refined, crude, unsugar-coated

and all.

but nah, you’re fine.
you can believe in whatever god you want,
you can be as poor or as rich as life permits,
you can hate me or love me in real life,
you can still call me out for tea,
you are entitled to your own opinions.

and by no means am i shoving my beliefs down your throat.

read with no personal implementations if you may.

because what i write is only personal to myself

and i hold no responsibility whatsoever
how you interpret what i write.

don’t get offended EVERY TIME

i talk about Jesus,
i talk about my family struggles(monetary),
i talk about my views on life,

my views on politics, people, value.

because it doesn’t have to mean the same for you.

this blog is made for me, it’s mine, for my own read in the future.
as stated in the blog biography i deleted a week ago for reconstruction.

i know you’re probably thinking i’m having the “you tak suka, you keluar!” attitude,
and why bother having a blog when you’re only intending it for your own read… etc.

again, that’s up to me. [ooo~ zach is being selfish]

sorry for being cynical,
just that the internet has become so, so, so
unforgiving and sharp,

that they’ll crucify you every-time they get a chance.

and maybe i’m not sorry.

if you choose to read, read it with an open heart.

“penned words speak louder than anything physically possible.
and allows so much room for analysis.” -Randall Tan.

it’s dangerous, the words we type online.

we can interpret it however we want.
and often times we take it so personally we
become paranoid of the stuff posted online
whether or not it refers to us.

dear strawberries,

discretion.

p/s: some of you may already be offended by this post as of now. stop destroying yourself, do yourself a favour, stop reading.

-zachsiow

bleh.

it was a really weak week.

over the past 2 to 3 months i’ve been feeling really weak myself.
and it really translates physically as much as it was spiritually.

my mind, not sharp.
my eyes, heavy.
my body, aching.
my shoulders, sore.

it was a bad week.

but i’m glad my minor car accident didn’t involve any other cars.
it was just between me and a.. pillar.
pretty embarrassing to mention.

i thought i was gonna’ have a clean sheet by the end of this year,
but no, i had to damage the headlamps. [~]

the week wasn’t just bad because of the car accident.

it was just, bad.

from feeling like an idiot helping Nick,
to getting screamed at for other’s mistakes
to destroying a few of my possessions.

but i don’t want to be a sour strawberry, easily bruised.
or easily emotionally hurt.

i want to feel things again. my nerves have been really numb
being a teenager. what a waste my youth!

enough ranting. let’s end the year like a man.
a superhuman.

http://frshz.wordpress.com/2011/01/04/becoming-superhuman/

by the way, i got conned into getting a 70 ringgit haircut.
what was i thinking, getting a haircut in Bukit Bintang?
thank God there was a first-timer discount.

heh. bourgeoisie.

-frshz

“Where are you? Are you practicing with the burberries?”

well, he’s been very proud since he bought his Burberry brand
body towel the other day. harping about what a steal it was.

so, we were in a distant cousin’s house in Batu Pahat.
a cousin that i never knew existed.

a VW Scirocco 3-door coupe 2.0 TSI parked outside.
Sunny & Suz were talking about the speed, comparing it to the Golf GTI.

she opened the door, the first words uttered were
“yes, it’s a TSI engine, come on in.”

a successful lawyer she is, in her 30′s.
working in Singapore.

has a lot in Desa Park City.
earning her greens well.

as a senior lawyer, she was giving advice to Suzanne,
and we were all ears, it applied to all of us.

she interestingly brought up a label for the Generation Y.
she said we are labelled, especially in the professional world
as the “Strawberry Generation”.

why?

strawberries are delicate, charming.
but easily bruised, spoiled, when touched.

we can’t withstand social pressure or work hard like our parents’ generation;
the term refers to people who are insubordinate,
spoiled, selfish, arrogant and sluggish in work.

we lack realistic view of employment.
we lack stress-management.
we lack money-management.
we are the rise in statistics in the suicide rates.
we lack a plan for the future.
we are strawberries.

of course there a percentage of us who inherited the durian skin from
the previous generation.
which made them stand out, and succeed in their career.

“there is no substitute for hard work.”

sometimes we need to be told what we already know,
as to reassure us that what we know is right,
and has to be put into conduct.

-freshythestrawberry.

my hometown, “Batu Pahat” literally translates
into “Chisel Stone”.

we can safely say today, the rock stands strong.
the chisel-which is informally used as cheat, or deceive.
has been defeated in Ah Ma’s life.

[Satan is known in the bible as the deceiver]

Googled image of the Batu Pahat monument.

papa purposefully got the whole family into the car,
drove us down south to visit our beloved Ah Ma(granny).

mother didn’t join us as she was, and still is shopping away in Sydney!

but it was enjoyable, no less.

it was also Sunny’s (Sister’s fiancé) first time with us to Johore.

about a month ago Ah Ma was admitted into the hospital for
a stroke attack, and low sugar levels.

till today, she has been much better physically
despite having difficulties moving around.

we visited her in a nursing home, where she was lying on a
lazy chair, the ones with red, blue and yellow lines.

what touched me most was that she addressed,
for the first time, all of us as her ‘golden grandchildren’.

if you haven’t been following my blog since umpteenth years ago,
my brother was always the
golden grandchild,
apple of the eye,
fair-haired boy,
pick of the litter,
treasure trove of the family.

well, Ah Ma sorted it out this time round.
we all know she still loves Ke-Yang best,
but we’re still, very so touched.

she told us that she’s been seeing things,
people, from the netherworld  wanting to take her away.
she said to them “not unless i meet my grandchildren first, no.”

she was strong.
my sister told her about the name of God.

the Name that is above every name,
above every principality, and authority, and power,
and dominion, and every name named,
not only in this age, but also in that to come; -Ephesians 1:21

that at the mention of the name Jesus Christ,
no spirits, nor demons, nor the devil himself can get the better
out of her.

of course we all know that this is true and we’re confident of it.

in the background, there was a schizophrenic lady
screaming at imaginary people.

Suzanne then led Ah Ma to pray for Jesus Christ,
and the Holy Spirit to dwell in Ah Ma’s heart.
that she will not be bothered by evil spirits anymore.

and this day, 12th November 2011, 1430 hours,
our beloved Ah Ma accepted Jesus Christ as her personal
Lord and Saviour.

and on this day, she gave all of us, her golden grandchildren
a kiss on the cheeks.

what a glorious day?

-frshthgoldengrandchild