don’t open the curtains!

a brief recap of 2009, before I drown in parties, countdowns, food, books, preparation…

January was a mess, many new beginnings sprouted here.
I had no idea what I got myself into. So I decided to constricted myself from getting too social.

February, Chinese New Year was a bliss, Batu Pahat is so much more modern now. Almost made me feel like I never left Subang Jaya, almost. I enrolled myself to be a prefect. Turning point of graph.

March, my first add math test, flung real hard, oh my… first shock of my life 2009! Worship retreat was good!

April! Busy with performances in school, auditions, and D-Day. can look up my history for it.

May, the fear of mid-term exams. At the same time, plan January failed. My seating in class shifted from front row, to every corner in class. I became a bull hungry for matador balls.—- that came out wrongly. Rediscovered the joy of playing field football, instead of futsal.

June, mid-terms, flung add maths again. Questioned my own strength, faith. Leading cell-group was a mess at this point. I was leading without my pair of eyes.

July, not much…

August, passed add math!! had a nice holiday, Church Camp was decent.

September, fear of end-year exams. I don’t know what happened here. But was still blissful and ignorant, went for late night supper @ PJ, KL and so-forth… had loads of fun coming home late.

October! Cell leading at this point was nice! Cell members were great =) Discovered a new pizza place, totally awesome. First Youth Camp Teaser out here. Bought my dad Starbucks… I gulped 3 quarter of it. Final year exam, was really confident about my exam…The results were unexpectedly balanced. but flung physics this time round.

November! Month of holidays. Crazy month. nuff’ said

December~ Hallelujah month for me! I love love love super love December 2009. I dare say more than 2008, which was totally great as well. AH, wish it was still November.

No resolutions, yet for 2010. It’s almost 4 a.m. I need to get some sleep.

Oh! Jogoya updates on tumblr. by tomorrow!

my new sneakers.

http://frshz.tumblr.com/

when words aren’t sufficient

Youth Camp 2009, even the photos aren’t enough to express the way we felt, the way we changed, the penetration of the Spirit.

Even the word ‘AWESOME’ won’t do justice to this camp.

This is the moment I always wanted, digging deeper with God.
And not relying on mere emotional hype, not relying on feelings,
but really, recognizing the touch of God.

When the Holy Spirit touched me, I didn’t know how to react.
I knelt down, not sure whether to cry, to rejoice, to laugh or to fall.

God you’re indescribable.

Moments that made you feel like crying like a baby, without a reason.

Worship lead on the first night itself. I had nothing.

I was clueless on where I was going, honestly.

But I didn’t want to tell anyone that I’m driving this car blindfolded.

I’ve never been to camps, I didn’t know what to expect.

But you know what, God literally blew me away. I had to take steps back.
It’s not about how good a worship leader is, it’s not about how good the team played,
it’s not about the choice of the songs that would make people jump, run, kneel, cry, hug each other…

the art of loosing yourself in praise comes from God above, and only Him.

the following days were even better, people prayed for even more.
God came through.

It’s more than just a team, it’s a family. -Ken Low

Our motto for the team throughout the camp.

People were much much closer to each other than before.

We had rough times together, but we stuck together.
We had fun times together, and we were sharing it.
We had devotions together, and we were responsive.
We had breakfast, lunch, dinner, supper together, and we were having fun.

The games prepared by IVANEXA were beyond what our minds could comprehend,
which genius could’ve come up with such creativity and wit to form a race that was so #%^&*(&^^$%%.
there you go again, vocabulary is insufficient, it can only bring things to definition this far.

I quote Geofferey Tan:”The National Level Scouts camp games and challenges could not even come close to what they’ve prepared”

Kudos to all of you.

Before camp, during camp, AFTER camp
we learned and practiced the power of prayer.
we won’t do anything without committing it to God.
because we know, the Creator Himself can do far greater things than we do.
and without Him, things would just come to a blunder.

I quote & paraphrase Suzanne:”Never in the history of Youth Camp, that after camp people still come in a big group to pray and seek from the Lord, and ask for more than this, never.”

The theme of the camp Be|Loved worked exceptionally well.
There wouldn’t be any better ones.

what’s ahead is even more exciting.

-frshzbe|loved

the lah and the mah.

for a more trivial, yet equally important reads and writes.

visit http://frshz.tumblr.com/

And no, this is not another step to abandon this blog.

have fun, lah =)

-frshz

no one’s gonna’ take me alive

got… to feel..more alive…

got… to look.. more alive…

got… to smile.. more often…

get rid. of the eye-bags..

need… a new.. hairdo…

sister got a new camera through airmail. a really good camera.

but I wouldn’t dare to touch it anyway, don’t feel like taking anymore responsibility over things.

the last thing I want to experience right now is being responsible when something bad happens.

the less things you posses, the less things you will lose.

anyway, brother is paying me 50 bucks for tonight to be a waiter in his friend’s party…

need… to look like I’m not tired…

-zach

when you realize things

The above are 2 of the first pictures taken using the camera =*)

I always like to do the ‘Sesame Street’. Even in cell, when I facilitate the Word, I like to give people new words, new phrases, new vocabs to chew on.

Today’s word is realize.

To comprehend completely or correctly.

To bring into reality; make real: He finally realized his lifelong ambition to learn how to play the violin.

I always get hungry these days, I crave for breakfast, brunch, lunch, tea, dinner until supper. I still look for food and scavenge the fridge for something to bite with.

I thought it’s the cause of holidays, I get bored and naturally start to chew on things, just like them puppies.
But like Gilbert would always quote myself ‘don’t thought… think.’
And then I think, with lesser exercises and less moving around, I shouldn’t be any hungrier.

-When I started to realize I was becoming hungry for food, I was actually hungry for the presence of God.

-When I realized that I lost my camera, something I became so fond with, I was actually losing sight of God’s very Words.

That His tangible presence became so foreign to me. I couldn’t recognize His call upon my life anymore.

I’m blogging differently now.
-zach

hmm?

my camera is gone. no idea where.
I thought, and re-thought, and then re-thought the re-thought,
still can’t figure it out, where in the world is it?

I was pretty sure it was there, if otherwise, where else would I locate?
hmm… I feel the guilt crawling all over, it was placed under my care, it was called ‘Zach’s Camera’.
it was my birthday present, it costs over a thousand bucks.

it only lasted a year and 8 months.

Can I find it back? I’m not so sure…

I’m speechless, the dad gave me a lecture I deserved. I accepted it in agreement.
If he didn’t, I’d feel even worse. Thanks dad.

But I’m still not satisfied. Why is it taken away from me?
My brother was just thinking of sending it for ‘grooming’.

Not planning to buy a new one anytime soon, my investment with the guitar is not done yet.
and for the quote “having nothing, nothing can he lose”-Shakespeare

“When I get sad I stop being sad and be AWESOME instead. True story!”

mmm

-frshzwithoutaphototakingdevice

it cuts!

A green thumb, do you have one?

Does speaking the truth make you a harsh person?
I think it does. The truth always give me a slap in the face.
But simultaneously, it liberates you from doubt, anxiety, fear, and being weary.

Just like the writers of the book of Proverbs.
A very practical book that teaches you how to live everyday in the simplest of expressions,
yet piercing the very conscience in your heart.

Prov 1o:19 “Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut.”

Prov 10:26 “Lazy people irritate their employers, like vinegar to teeth or smoke in the eyes.”

Prov 15:13 “A glad heart makes a happy face; a broken heart crushes the spirit.”

Prov 15:23 “Everyone enjoys a fitting reply; it is wonderful to say the right thing at the right time!”

Prov 17:12 “It is safer to meet a bear robbed of her cubs than to confront a fool caught in foolishness.”

Prov 27:18-19 “Just as damaging as a madman shooting a deadly weapon is someone who lies to a friend and then says. ‘I was only joking’.”

Yikes!
I have a lot to learn, I’ve been too proud of myself lately, unknowingly.

I realized that my mood is brighter as my hair gets shorter. As my hair grows longer, I get even more fretful.
It’s 4:12 a.m. Friday.
There goes, I’m going to wake up at 12p.m. today.

-frszhcrankiee

lunch@home

[Warning: Picture galore ahead. If you have slow internet connections, for smooth viewing pleasure, leave this page open your web browser for a few minutes and come back]

Harry Tan came over to my place to learn how to cook lasagnas, from home chef, my brother.

He wanted to learn how to cook for his girlfriend.

We had 4 dishes to prepare:
-Traditional Lasagna alla Bolognese
-Lasagna with red wine
-Mashed potatoes
-Fruit salad

Harry Tan- Sous-chef
Kyan Siow- Head-chef
Zach Siow- Roundsman

I was doing what roundsmen do, walking around filling in wherever I can, chopping up parsleys, grading cheese, chopping carrots, washing utensils on the spot, taking pictures, passing around surgery-equipments…and most importantly, stealing food.

Into the oven…

and VOILA!

“tapao” for his beloved. bento style.

That was my Friday for you!

Sure beats having to muse around on what to eat outside.

- – -
My grudge over this holidays is about cash. . .
It comes so hard, but it vanishes at a flash.
Had 2 chess/checkers sessions at 2 different days last week, searching for cheap entertainment.
The first session was deceiving, my opponent, Daniel deceived me into believing that he’s a beginner, let him loose and I lost consecutively.

2nd session was with ex-chess master, Mr. Mark.
I got a grip on all his crucial marchers, and got over-confident, lost my grip and he won, both times only with his castles.

They say playing chess gives you inspiration.
This time it said:

Never think you’re on the winning side, even when you’re opponent is bare-naked left with a pawn and 2 castles, never.

-frshzonholiday.

the importance of being idle[?]

the things I can do are very limited, the things I cannot do seem so vast.
financial leverage can bring you this far, talents carried you up so long .

[ah. weather talks again]
the rain limits us to do stuff we do in the sun.

football, basketball, jogs, picnics, mountain climbing, river swimming,
cross-country cycling, car-washing, clothe-drying, watering your plants, walking to your friend’s house, sun-bathing, and watching TV [Astro..pfft*]

It’s this kind of situations that pushes you to do stuff out of the ordinary, think out of the routine-cereal box.
Yeah, just like playing boardgames in the morning.
Waking up early just to breathe the fresh drizzle and the scent of flowers blooming.

I can’t seem to find my mom’s morning glory in the garden now, I always thought it was a myth that it only blooms in the morning and dies in the afternoon.

They say on days like these, cloudy days, these flowers last till the night.

I think these types of plants… there are over 1000 types of Morning Glories.
…are what we call candles.

when there’s a blackout, we scramble all around the storeroom to look for candles, we light them up to bring light to sight.
and then when the electricity comes back on, we put out the fire and chuck them somewhere in the storeroom again. until the next blackout, we shall meet.

Candles are often metaphorically used in proverbs as a sacrificial character, lighting yourself up to bring light to the rest.

For some reasons I feel like I’ve wrote about this before, dearest déjà vu.

and  oh crap, I just realize that Morning Glory is another song by Brit band, Oasis.

I lost my faith in the summer time
‘Cause it don’t stop raining
The sky all day is as black as night
But I’m not complaining
-Oasis

what’s with singers and selling of souls? so many songs like that.
it’s not milk for your soul’s sake, stop trading it.
start investing it on your Creator.

Praise You in the morning,
Praise You in the evening,
Praise You when I’m young and when I’m old.
Praise You when I’m laughing,
Praise You when I’m grieving,
Praise You every season of the soul.
If we could see how much You’re worth,
Your power, Your might, Your endless love,
Then surely we would never cease to praise.

-frshzholidayblues